


Say Her Name

by Jess4400



Series: When We Were Young [2]
Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, Can you believe that Elsa & Gerda wasn't a tag and I had to make it myself?, Fluff, Gen, Gerda is trying, You can argue that the king and queen had good intentions, but that doesn't erase the emotional trauma these two went through, disgusting, just saying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-22 04:56:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22643902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jess4400/pseuds/Jess4400
Summary: "If Elsa’s name (not Elsa herself, never Elsa, no matter what the child believed) was a curse, then Anna was a sailor. The redhead sang the name while riding bicycles down staircases. She told Joan all about her big sister and the adventures they used to have. She even once asked Gerda, through a mouthful of chocolate, to pretty please give the rest of her sweets to Elsa."Or: Gerda couldn't explain to Anna why they weren't allowed to speak the crown Princess' name.
Relationships: Anna & Gerda (Disney: Frozen), Elsa & Gerda (Disney: Frozen)
Series: When We Were Young [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628422
Comments: 11
Kudos: 45





	Say Her Name

Elsa’s name became a curse in Arendelle’s castle the minute the royal family returned from visiting the trolls. As soon as the gates thundered shut, Gerda knew the girl would no longer be allowed to exist as the carefree, imaginative child everyone had come to love. Her powers had always struck fear in her parents’ hearts, but this incident, Gerda knew, was the last straw for them. If she were Gerda’s child, Gerda would have dried her tears and given her no more than a slap on the wrist. Children were beings full of mistakes. It wasn’t Elsa’s fault her mistakes were more deadly than others’. 

Gerda stopped in front of the window. That was the problem, though, wasn’t it? Perhaps Elsa meant no harm, but that did not change the fact that her little sister nearly died by her hand. Maybe the king and queen were right to separate them until the young royal could control her abilities.

The sun filtering in tickled the freckles on her arms. Her heart ached at Elsa’s wide, round eyes as she closed the last window. 

“It’s for the best, princess,” She said, though the words felt like swallowing glass. The girl bit her lip and looked into her eyes as if searching for something. She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut when Gerda turned away and motioned for her to follow. Gerda didn’t touch her; she wasn’t _allowed_ to touch her under the new rules, but she longed to. The princess must have sensed this, as she crossed her hands behind her back and nodded sadly. The resignation on her face would haunt Gerda for years to come. She sighed and led the girl away from the dark hallway, into the lonely room where she would reside until she turned twenty-one.

(Gerda never found out what the princess wanted to ask that day. Sometimes, in her dreams, she lingered a moment longer and the princess confided in her. Sometimes, in her dreams, she didn’t turn a blind eye to the sobs that came from behind the snowflake-patterned door. Always, in her dreams, she wasn’t a coward.)

...

The people outside didn’t understand the sudden secrecy and often asked for the princess by name. On her supply runs, Gerda would assure them that the princess was fine and healthy, just weak from a sickness. She hated herself for the lies that rolled so easily off her tongue. It was for the best, she reminded herself.

Gerda came to terms with the fact that the crown princess’ name was reserved only for the king and queen’s hushed whispers at midnight. Any mention of the girl’s name by anyone else would be met with harsh words and narrowed eyes. At Gerda’s reluctant lead, the servants of the castle learned to refer to the girl with euphemisms and downcast faces.

(No, that wasn’t quite right. Elsa had always been a sore subject in the castle. She remembered the arguments coming from the young king and queen’s quarters the night after the young princess shed her first frozen tear. A servant wasn’t meant to eavesdrop, so she hurried along the dark hallway. She tried to force the sinking feeling away, but she knew deep down the conversation was about the strange, enchanted baby. 

When the queen smiled and thanked her at breakfast, she sat the plate down a little too hard. It rattled on the table, causing the king to look up in concern. Gerda smiled sheepishly and tamped down the rising disdain for her monarchs.)

...

If Elsa’s name (not Elsa herself, never Elsa, no matter what the child believed) was a curse, then Anna was a sailor. The redhead sang the name while riding bicycles down staircases. She told Joan all about her big sister and the adventures they used to have. She even once asked Gerda, through a mouthful of chocolate, to _pretty please_ give the rest of her sweets to Elsa. 

“I will, but you need to stop talking about Her Majesty, Princess Anna. You’re going to get us into trouble.”

Anna’s face scrunched up. She yanked the chocolate box out of Gerda’s hands and threw it to the floor. 

“Why? Why can’t I talk about her? She’s my sister! It’s like you guys pretend she doesn’t exist!” She reeled her foot back as if she was going to kick a chocolate against the wall, but seemingly decided against it. 

Gerda sighed and bent down to pick up the scattered sweets. One by one, she returned each chocolate to its own divot in the plastic where it belonged.

“We are under strict orders to keep your sister safe in her room, Princess Anna. There is nothing we can do.”

“Say her name.”

Gerda looked up from her task and met the furious eyes of the younger princess. She swallowed nervously and brushed her skirts as she rose from the floor.

“Let’s just return to the kitchen so we can make new chocolates, yes? These are filthy. Come along, Miss Anna.” She thought about the other princess and made it a point to lead this one kindly in the face of mistakes. She grabbed Anna’s hand and smiled gently.

Anna didn’t move. Instead, she stood rooted in her spot with the fiery determination Gerda both loved and hated. She was so unlike her sister in these moments. Where Elsa was meek and resigned, Anna demanded change with her hands held in fists by her sides.

“No. Say her name!” Anna screamed. Gerda looked over her shoulder to make sure there were no witnesses. Having a princess yell at her would certainly make for interesting gossip.

“Elsa,” Gerda whispered. “Is that what you want to hear? Can we move on, now?” She couldn’t keep the frustrated tone out of her voice. If only her parents could see her now--arguing with a princess. 

(If only her parents could see her _then--_ shoving gloves on a misunderstood child under a king’s unjust orders.)

“No! We can’t! Not without Elsa!”

“Anna, the princess--” 

“Elsa!” Anna shouted, “Elsa, Elsa, Elsa! She’s not just the princess, she’s my sister!’

(Gerda knew this. She’d seen the way the youngest slid letters and drawings under the door. She’d also seen the responses inked in swooping black letters laying crumpled and destroyed on a mahogany desk.)

“Okay!” Gerda threw her hands up. _“Elsa_ cannot leave her room. I’m under strict orders and there’s nothing I can--”

“I know! That’s what you keep saying! That’s what everyone keeps saying! It’s not fair! I want my sister! I’m so tired of pretending I’m an only child.” Anna rubbed her eyes and the tears came flooding out. Anna had always been an ugly crier, but these tears felt especially heartbreaking. This wasn’t a scraped knee or a bee sting. Gerda couldn't take her to the castle infirmary and slap a band-aid on her to cover the wound. This was years of hurt and loneliness leaking out of a young child (A young child the same age that Elsa was when she disappeared from their lives). Gerda’s own eyes pricked at the unfairness of it all. 

“I know, Anna. I’m tired of pretending, too.” She kneeled down to Anna’s level and pulled her into a hug. Anna melted at the touch and clutched her so hard that her little nails dug into the woman’s back. Gerda bitterly wondered when the queen had last given either of her children a hug.

“We don’t _have_ to pretend, Gerda. She’s a person, right? It’s not fair that we keep treating her like she’s just the princess. It’s not fair that she has to stay in her room all the time.” Anna wiped her nose on Gerda’s dress pocket.

“It’s not...It’s not fair that I have to feel so sad all the time.” Gerda squeezed tighter. Anna pushed away and looked desperately into her eyes.

“It’s not fair, right? They’re handling…whatever the problem is with Elsa _wrong,_ right?” Gerda blinked away from her intense, watery eyes and realized the question Elsa never asked her years ago.

“...Yes, Anna. I don’t believe they’re treating you fairly. I don’t believe they’re treating Elsa fairly, either. You both deserve so much more.”

…

Gerda and Anna made new chocolates. Anna threw half of them into a decorative tin without rhyme or reason and swept the rest into a makeshift pouch in her skirts. Gerda rolled her eyes at the childish action. She licked her thumb and scrubbed away the smeared chocolate on a squirming Anna’s arm. One she deemed Anna presentable, she motioned for her to hand over the tin. 

The young girl handed it over gingerly, flicking her eyes back and forth between the woman and the present. Gerda nodded, knowing exactly what she was thinking. It wasn’t fair that Anna couldn’t give the gift herself, but she was entrusting Gerda to deliver it safely. She wouldn’t let Anna down.

…

Gerda cracked open the snowflake door. 

“Elsa?” She asked, taking a tentative step into the frigid room. “Princess?”

“I’m over here,” Elsa responded. Much to Gerda’s relief, the chill wasn’t coming from the girl herself. It was coming from the open window, which the girl sat perched in front of. 

“Elsa, you should close this window, you’ll catch a cold!” Gerda moved to close it, but Elsa grabbed her skirt with a sudden intensity that reminded her of Anna.

“Please, don’t,” Elsa requested softly, “I like it open.” 

Gerda recalled a face in the dark hallway and dropped her hand to her side. “As you wish, Princess Elsa,” she sighed. Elsa released her hold on the fabric and looked at her strangely.

“Why do you keep calling me that?”

“You mean, your name?”

Elsa blushed and hid her hands in her lap. “That was a stupid question. Sorry. What’s that?” She nodded her head at the box of chocolates. Gerda wanted to reassure her that it wasn’t a stupid question, but it seemed Elsa wanted to move on.

“Anna and I made them for you,” Gerda said, handing them over. Elsa unraveled the bow slowly and peeked inside. 

“Chocolates?”

“Mmhmm. Though Anna stole half of the batch.” Gerda chuckled. Elsa smiled at the mention of her little sister. 

“That’s not very fair of her, is it?” Elsa laughed. Gerda joined in, but a newfound sense of responsibility made her say her next words with all the conviction in her heart.

“No, Elsa, I suppose it isn’t. Tomorrow, though, we will make another batch and give them all to you.” Elsa furrowed her eyebrows.

“I was joking.”

“And I wasn’t.” Gerda laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

Elsa flinched in surprise, but relaxed after a moment when Gerda refused to take her arm back. The ice Elsa produced when she startled melted away. She grinned up at Gerda like the woman had hung the moon and the stars for her. (Maybe, by leaving the window open this time, she had.)

"Thanks," Elsa said, leaning into the touch. Gerda knew she wasn't talking about the chocolate.

...

Gerda vowed to be a coward no longer. If she could do little things like this to keep the princesses' spirits up, by God, she would do them until the day she died. She would make things as fair for the girls as her status would allow her. If Elsa wasn’t allowed to dream, she would think up brave fantasies for the both of them. If Anna wasn't allowed to see her sister, Gerda would scream Elsa’s name from the rooftop to keep her memory alive until they could reunite again. She might not have had the power to free Elsa, but she did have the power to say her name.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mess but I've been working on it for hours (and I'm tired)  
> Hope you enjoyed anyway!


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